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Building Your Husband’s Self Esteem


Her husband has full confidence in her. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:11-12)

happy marriageOne sunny afternoon, a mayor and his wife were taking a stroll down the main street of their city, while he proudly pointed out his accomplishments during his time in office. Then they walked by a construction site and a man called out and greeted his wife. He had been a high school boyfriend.

The mayor said to his wife,

See, dear, if you had married him, you would be a wife of a laborer.”

She answered sweetly,

“If I had married him, he would be the mayor.”

It is true. Wives have phenomenal influence on their husbands. It is said that they can make or break their husband. Even though many times we don’t feel like we are making any difference at all, we really are. Someone said,

“If wives knew how much influence they had, they would be filled with pride. If men knew, they would be scared to death.”

What is self-esteem? How you mentally see yourself, how you feel about yourself and what value or sense of worth you have internally. So how do we go about using our influence to build our husband’s self esteem for good?

Husbands have shared these tips with us – I’ve been using them and they work:

  1. Pray for him.
  2. Verbal and written words of encouragement: “You handled that wisely,” “I love being married to you.”
  3. Express confidence.
  4. Be loyal. Loyalty builds confidence.
  5. Compliment the little things he does – in front of others and privately. Mark Twain said, “I can live two months on a good compliment.”
  6. Make his favorite meals.
  7. Be an available and active lover.
  8. Remind him of his trengths and accomplishments.
  9. Respect and admire your husband.
  10. Take responsibilities seriously and faithfully carry them out.

Ruth Graham said,

“It is not up to me to change my husband, that is up to God. My job is to keep him happy.”

Today, list five things you appreciate about your husband. Then begin telling him – verbally or in written form. It could begin a transformation in your relationship.

Father, so often we want people to appreciate us, but neglect to appreciate those closest to us. Help us to be the kind of wife You want us to be. Amen